Day #9 - Music

Music, oh music... where would I be without you. Especially during my loss. When I felt I couldn't get my words out, how I couldn't "feel" because I was numb... music helped me soften the blow. I didn't have anything to look forward to.

Courtesy: Google image search

My daughter was gone. FOREVER. Forever is a very hard, permanent, reality to deal with... shortly after I lost Ana Carrie Underwood’s “See You Again” hit the radio. Similar to Carrie's song, before I knew it, I lost Ana. But this song helps me hold on to the hope that I will one day get to see her again. Until then, I know she will always be here with me.

"Said goodbye, turned around

And you were gone, gone, gone

Faded into the setting sun,

Slipped away

But I won’t cry

Cause I know I’ll never be lonely

For you are the stars to me,

You are the light I follow....

I will see you again, whoa

This is not where it ends

I will carry you with me, oh

'Til I see you again"

While Let Her Go by Passenger was written in a different context parts of it make me think of her... Feeling alone and empty because I don't have my daughter here... because we tried for years to have a child only to have her taken from us so quickly. I see her in my dreams, I see her when I see other children... and I loved her so much... I had to let her go.

“Staring at the ceiling in the dark, 

same old empty feeling in your heart, 

Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast. 

Well you see her when you fall asleep; 

never to touch and never to keep 

cause you loved her too much 

and you dived too deep.”

I also created a YouTube playlist of songs that remind me of Ana. You can view this list here:

Songs for Ana