Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Unprotected Protection

I see that some of my posts have not been posting so I'm "releasing" them so to speak. Sorry for the delay in posting:

Some of you may have read earlier posts about living with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I lost Ana in October and since then her father has been hesitant to have sex. He's so worried about having another child right now that he even tried using condoms. Yes, that's a shocker because (as I'm sure many of you have heard) he doesn't like wearing them. But, he's so worried about having another child right now that our sex life has slowed down, things have kind of been "blah".

Well, since I lost Ana I've also gained some weight back. Because of this I'm not getting my period as often as I should be. As a matter of fact, my last period was noted in a blog. So I'm going on probably 3-4 months without one. I explained this to him and how it's unlikely I'll get pregnant without a cycle, etc. I also tried telling him how sex doesn't feel as intimate or as sensual as it did before. When we DTD he now insists on pulling out. I know that it doesn't guarantee protection, but him pulling out + my fertility problems = no baby.

Tonight him and I had sex for the first time without him pulling out. It was a heat of the moment type thing but I never expected how he would react afterwards. He literally freaked out on me. He kept saying "Oh my God you're going to get pregnant." Over and over. Then, he went completely silent. I tried consoling him I tried explaining again about my lack of period and what-not since I gained so much weight, but there was no making him feel better. He wouldn't talk and it was awkwardly quiet. I was very upset by the way he was acting and I just left his house. I couldn't take the silence and the way that he reacted. I have a feeling we won't be having sex for quite some time after this :(