Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Unprotected Protection

I see that some of my posts have not been posting so I'm "releasing" them so to speak. Sorry for the delay in posting:

Some of you may have read earlier posts about living with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). I lost Ana in October and since then her father has been hesitant to have sex. He's so worried about having another child right now that he even tried using condoms. Yes, that's a shocker because (as I'm sure many of you have heard) he doesn't like wearing them. But, he's so worried about having another child right now that our sex life has slowed down, things have kind of been "blah".

Well, since I lost Ana I've also gained some weight back. Because of this I'm not getting my period as often as I should be. As a matter of fact, my last period was noted in a blog. So I'm going on probably 3-4 months without one. I explained this to him and how it's unlikely I'll get pregnant without a cycle, etc. I also tried telling him how sex doesn't feel as intimate or as sensual as it did before. When we DTD he now insists on pulling out. I know that it doesn't guarantee protection, but him pulling out + my fertility problems = no baby.

Tonight him and I had sex for the first time without him pulling out. It was a heat of the moment type thing but I never expected how he would react afterwards. He literally freaked out on me. He kept saying "Oh my God you're going to get pregnant." Over and over. Then, he went completely silent. I tried consoling him I tried explaining again about my lack of period and what-not since I gained so much weight, but there was no making him feel better. He wouldn't talk and it was awkwardly quiet. I was very upset by the way he was acting and I just left his house. I couldn't take the silence and the way that he reacted. I have a feeling we won't be having sex for quite some time after this :(

1 comment:

  1. I've been through the same thing. After Luke my body went back to pretty much the same. He was born sleeping on October 22, 2009 we were told to wait a few months. I'd had placental abruption and needed surgery to remove the retained placenta that didn't come out during his birth. I was finally released on Sunday (he was born on Thursday).

    It seemed like I didn't bleed that much, maybe two weeks and it stopped. We had a post op appointment with my horrible OBs and the next month we had an appointment with my wonderful high risk doctor who delivered our son. We were told we could start ttc again in January.

    2010 was such a tough year. My husband became very sick with pneumonia. At first we went to the urgent care clinic and they gave him the standard antibiotics. After he'd finished them he got worse.

    It was about 1am and he couldn't breath, or lay down it created such a horrible pain for him. He said if he wasn't feeling better by the morning we'd go to the emergency room but I told him no we're going now.

    So we got there and they hooked him up to the machines and they had a heart attack patient to care for first. But then my husband (Dan) went hypoxic and they rushed back in to his room and worked on him.

    It was 2 am by the time we got to the er, and it was about 6am when he got a room. The doctors told me if I hadn't brought him in when I did that most likely I would've woke up with him passed away next to me.

    14 months I would've lost my son and my husband and I wasn't yet 30 yet.

    My husband got out of the hospital after two weeks. Just before Christmas.

    He had to return to the hospital each day to have IV antibiotic therapy each day for two months.

    We got pregnant again in 2011. We lost our second baby, a girl we named Adyn Christine. Dan liked the name Aidan, and asked if he could name the next baby. So that is what he picked and we used a feminine spelling. I picked her middle name.

    Since my body has been crazy. the first year I had maybe 3 periods.

    Now finally my cycles are about 31 to 32 days long. We're hopeful for a 2014 rainbow baby.