Thursday, March 21, 2013

You're not ready for a child anyway

You're not ready for a kid anyway

My mother is usually the one yelling at me to think before i speak. Well this time i can't even explain how hurt i am by how she told me I'm not ready for a kid yet anyway. It's less than 20 days away from my would-be due date and those words have hit me like a dagger to the heart. Mom and i were taking about a situation with Anas father and i explained how i was upset. I told her how at this point I'm glad i don't have a kid with him because of all the mean shit he has said to me on this trip. Her response: You're not ready for a kid anyway.

My heart sank. The tears instantly started running down my face and it felt like the wind was knocked right out of me. I was hyperventilating. I thought... Of all people how could my own mother say something like this to me. After all, she of all people should know how much I wanted to have Ana. How much i wanted my baby and STILL DO. To hear her say that just broke me to pieces and i ran out of her room crying.

Not only was Anas father being mean, so was my mom. Im sorting here crying on a boat in St. Kitts with no where to go. I'm stuck on this trip which i thought was going to be sooooo different. I thought that maybe this would be where things were rekindled... But instead it shed light that this guy really doesn't care about me or the child we had together.

Then to top it off... What my mom said just made me furious. I just don't know how people can say what they do to someone they know had a broken heart. Ana was and still is my everything and always will be. Mama loves you Ana. Mama loves you.

1 comment:

  1. I understand all too well my friend! I am struck with painful comments from family often. My sister whom I love so much is almost the worst. And she knows how much I wanted my babies! My heart is with you!