Thursday, March 21, 2013

Back from vacation... back to reality

I am back from my paradise vacation in the Caribbean. I had the most wonderful time. I spent every day in the ocean with beautiful weather and bright blue skies. I couldn't have asked for a better time.

However, now that I am back in Wisconsin, I am having a hard time coming back to reality. Reality is, I am not going to have a baby any time soon. Reality is I need to find a job. Reality is my baby is not coming back. Reality is her due date is less than a month away, and for most people will just come and go as another day. However, I'm finding it very difficult transitioning from fantasy back to reality.

Since I lost Ana the days seem to speed by. It seems like just yesterday I buried my daughter, but in reality it's been almost 5 months. Where have those months gone? I had graduated in December, but where is the job that I've been longing for? Where has time gone?

It's back to reality... my new reality without my baby.

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