SURVIVOR!

It's just over 6 months since I lost my sweet baby Ana. It's been just less than 6 months since I buried her next to my grandfather. It's been just over a year since I lost my grandfather. But throughout all of this, I am a SURVIVOR.

I have my down days, I have my I don't want to get out of bed days. I have my good days where I can function normally and feel like everything is okay. I just have to remember that I am a survivor.

I honestly believe God doesn't give you anything you can't handle and I survived. I was very very ill after losing Ana, both physically and mentally. I was hospitalized the day after I lost her because I had lost over half of my blood and was still bleeding very heavily.

I was in a very dark place after losing Ana mentally. I hated everyone I hated everything I didn't want to do anything. I felt like life could not go on. But I survived.

I still have days where things just aren't "right" and I'm sad but I know that Ana wants me to be happy and she doesn't want to see me down and out. She wants to see her mom as she was while she knew me. Happy, healthy, loving life and living as I should.

Ana is and always will be my daughter. My first daughter. The daughter I always wanted and I DID have. She was a part of me that will never be the same but a part of me that will carry her with me forever. She was born on her father's birthday. She was 16 weeks. She was perfect in every way. I will always love her. I survived and I will continue to be... a SURVIVOR!