Sick of the bleeding! (graphic)

I can't even begin to explain how sick of the bleeding I am! I lost Ana Sunday October 21, and when I lost her the blood was literally pouring out. When I stood up from the table at the ER it was like a faucet was on... blood everywhere. I lost soooo much blood in the first few days after I lost Ana that I needed a blood transfusion. They put two units of blood into me Tuesday night, October 23. I continued to bleed heavily for a week, and then it slowed down but I was still bleeding until November 10th.

The doctor thinks I started my first period cycle just over a week after all the bleeding stopped, on November 19th. This was important for me to know if it was a cycle or not because they needed to wait for my first cycle to do the Saline Infused Sonohysterogram (SIS). I bled half a day for a few days, and then they put me on medication for the procedure which made my body cramp and bleed heavier. I bled until the day of the SIS, and again, during and after the procedure I bled a lot. It reminded me of the blood loss when I was in the ER with Ana. That afternoon, Tuesday November 27th, I stopped bleeding.

However, two days later I started bleeding REALLY heavy. This bleeding was dark red, thick, and was different than the rest of my cycles or bleeding. This blood included large clots of blood. I wasn't even able to wear a tampon because there was so much blood I was leaking through them in less than an hour. The worst of this happened in the last few days.

On Monday, December 3rd I was at the local hardware store with Ana's father, Ana's grandma, and Ana's brother. We were looking for paint for a doll house we are building for Ana's grandma when something just didn't feel right. I went to the bathroom to find blood everywhere again. I had just put in a new "super" tampon before I left the house and it was about an hour, maybe an hour and a half after when I went to the restroom. I took out my tampon and there was a blood clot the size of the tampon and clots literally just fell out of my body as I was pulling it out. Now I had blood all over the bathroom, my hands, my clothes, it was so gross! I leaned over to wipe up the floor and more blood and clotting oozed out. It was one of the most dirty, disgusting feeling.

I cleaned up as much as I could and sat down on the floor and cried. Each and every time I go to the bathroom the blood is a constant reminder of my little girl that I lost and how she's no longer here with me. It hurts each time I see it, as it puts me back to the day I went into the ER because I was losing so much blood. It hurts to know I can't try until all of the bleeding is over with. The doc said to expect heavy bleeding (which I was used to since I was younger and had irregular periods) but ... THIS HEAVY? The only time I experienced such heavy bleeding was with the loss of my daughter.

I finally called my OB and told her I'm not feeling well and told her about how much I've been bleeding. The doctors decided to start me on a progesterone medication which will help me shed the lining of my uterus faster and stop the bleeding. (Or so they say) They want to make sure that I don't go down the road of bleeding too much again and needing another transfusion. I started this medication last night December 4th and the bleeding is still heavy. I will be taking this medication until I have stopped bleeding for a week and I hope it levels my body out again.

I've pretty much been bleeding for over a month straight with about a weeks break in between. Just not feeling myself anymore and wish the doctors were able to do more about it.