Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Acknowledge MY child!

So after Christmas I was talking to Ana's father about our family gatherings and how they went. Well Ana's father started to mention how his mom was saying she doesn't have a grand daughter yet and asked the girlfriend of her other son when she was going to give her another child and how she wants a grand daughter.

When he told me this I almost snapped. It hurt me so deeply to hear that she doesn't have a grand daughter. Even though she isn't living here on Earth, she has a grand daughter. A grand daughter that I gave her middle name to! It hurt me so much to hear this because just two months ago I was carrying that grand daughter that we all wanted to bad. It hurts to know that she doesn't acknowledge her as her grand daughter.

I tried explaining to Ana's father why I was so upset and then told him that I would be mad if she were to get pregnant now. It made me feel so cold. So bitter. I feel bad for "raining" on their happiness and perhaps for the fact they might have another child sometime in the future but I want a child so bad and I wanted to be the one to give his mother her grand daughter.... why does he have to tell me this?

I want people to acknowledge my child. I want people to know that she is STILL my daughter and always will be. I want to talk  about her and I want YOU to talk about her. I don't want this to be some "in-the-closet" topic. Yes, it might make me a little sad and I may shed a tear but deep down it makes me happy that you're remembering my Angel, my sweet, sweet Ana.

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